27 weeks

Hey little man,

You still have no name. Boo.

But you have a new room!
You are getting your big brothers old room, and they moved into the empty room next to you.
They know they will have to be extra quiet when you are in there.
I have no bedding or colors picked yet.

But I do have a very full heart and can not wait to meet you. I still get paranoid that you are not okay. You are still going to get a spankin' from me for what you did to us over Easter Weekend. Horrible April Fools Joke to play on your parents.

               The story:  While we were in Houston for Good Friday/Easter/Scott and Amy's Wedding Shower we went to see my old doctor for my first ultrasound, bloodwork and pregnancy confirmation.  It was a Friday morning.  I instantly knew when they found you on the screen that something was wrong. There was no blinky dot. There was nothing inside the gestational sac.  And, I do my homework always... so I knew what they were thinking. blighted ovum.  But the doctor said not to worry yet until my bloodwork comes back. He said he didn't feel comfortable saying one way or the other. So we left.  Went and picked up 6 bags of crawfish while I cried in the car. I just knew something was wrong.  Dropped off the crawfish, had a pity party in my mother in laws bedroom. Then Brandon took me to Hubble and Hudson to pick up 20 hydrangeas that I ordered for the wedding shower I was hosting the next day. 

And then it happened.

Right in the middle of Hubble and Hudson. I got the call from my doctor confirming that it appeared I was no longer pregnant. My bloodwork came back bad.  She gave me the "I'm so sorry speech." Told me to stay in town and come see them Monday, April 1st,  to confirm and they would tell me what my next step would be.  

I do believe in miracles, but I also know that maybe my timing didn't align with God's timing.  We were only going to try one time to have another baby. So, to say I was crushed is an understatement. I proceeded to just go through the motions for the rest of the weekend... the shower, Easter morning, church, egg hunts, ect. I was so sad anytime I stopped moving.

Monday morning while we waited, I gave myself pep talks about how awesome my life is even if we never got to meet you. ever. I thought I could convince myself that I was going to be okay. 

But then the most amazing thing happened. 

The nurse asked how I was doing. Sad I said, but I just want to know what will happen now. What are the next steps. And right then and there she said, "Not only is there a baby, there is a heartbeat!" I watched it flicker on the screen and your Daddy and I were speechless. Except for Daddy saying, "the tomb is not empty" (That is an Easter Sunday joke I will never forget.)
They could not explain what happened. Why my blood work came back bad. Why there was no yolk sac inside the gestational sac. Not one explanation. Except God.  He knew exactly what I needed.  And I needed you!

Anyways,
It really took me a very long time to get over that scare. I still worry about you when I am not being kicked in the middle of the night. But time and again, everything is fine. You are healthy and growing. And I am growing... be prepared to come with me to baby boot camp to work off this weight!

But tonight, I am 27 weeks.
13 weeks away from meeting you.
I'm ready for the sleepless nights and for the baby coos.

I'll work on getting you a name and a room to come home to!

Love you Number 3!
Mommy